Maskless
by Dragid
Summary: R rating for swearing and later limeyaoi. Tasuki and Chichiri have loved each otherfor years, but neither of them knows the other feels the same. When a depressed Chichiri attempts suicide, what will Tasuki do?


A/N: I'm back, people! With a lovely new Chichiri/Tasuki angsty romancy fic! If you've read my work before, you'll know that my updating schedule is very erratic and fully depends on everything. Luckily, this should only be a few chapters long, and if you want a sequel, well.....we'll see what happens. Oh, and I should warn you, if you don't like lemons, possibly lime with two people of the same sex, then I advise that you read only up to chapter two. I will try to make the end of chapter two be really fluffy, but I'm gonna try and put a little lime into a thrid chapter for you fellow hentai's.   
  
Disclaimer: Dude, seriously, if you think that I'm the great Watase-San, then you are sadly, sadly mistaken. I don't own them, well, if you count plushies, then yeah, I own the plushies, not the people. ::Sigh::  
  
**Maskless**  
  
**Chichiri's POV**

A fake smile. It was the same every day for me. I would get out of my bedroll every morning while my Tasuki slept on and I would quietly meditate as the sun came up. Then, as I felt my comrade begin to wake, I would slip over to my travel pack and find my mask, then slip it on.  
  
Everyone asks me why I wear this mask all the time. Tasuki constantly says I look so much better without it. Hah, maybe he says it because he's trying to make me feel better, or maybe... no, he would never love me as much as I love him, never. I can hope though, and I can dream. The real reason I wear my smiling mask is for an extra shield, another defense from the sadness that will eternally haunt my soul.  
  
If I were without my smiling face all the time, then Tasuki would see right through my fake smiles and laughs. Then again, I think he already can because every time I use the smile on the paper, he looks at me like he's disappointed, but only for a second though, so I can never tell if it was my imagination or not. I do make an effort though. Sometimes, after a rough time on the road, when I am in a truly happy and joyous mood, I remove my sanctuary. Then Tasuki looks over at me, sees my true face and grins, then laughs and comes to hug me, saying I'm always getting better about not wearing this 'fuckin' piece o' paper' as he calls it. I laugh along with him and leave it off until we come to another town, then I flash a small smile at him at place it on once more.  
  
I sigh, never will this familiar routine take place again, I have decided it, my life is pointless, no one likes me, so why continue to live. Everyone leans on me for support and I give it to them, but where can I go for support? Certainly not Tasuki, if I did, then I would have to admit to loving him and if I did he would think I was strange, different, like Nuriko only odder.  
  
I got up from my seat on the warm earth, it is decided, tonight I will take my own life in the quiet of the forest after sending Tasuki, my love, to get firewood. I feel slightly bad now, I don't know how Tasuki will fare, actually, wait, yes I do. He'll probably celebrate the fact that he doesn't have to put up with the mopey houshi anymore, then he'll go back to Mt. Reikaku and drink until dawn with Kouji.  
  
Tasuki is starting to wake up now, it's a pity I decided to kill myself, I was previously thinking of leaving my mask off for an entire day, just to try to make him happy. Well, I think I will, if it makes him happy, which it does.  
  
**Tasuki's POV**

Yawn I slowly wake from a restless sleep and stretch. I had an absolutely horrible dream last night, but it was good at the same time. Chichiri, the one person I've ever loved told me that he loved me back, but he told me just as he was committing suicide because he didn't think I loved him back. I hope that that never happens to my 'Chiri, if he ever killed himself because of me then I'd kill myself right along with him.  
  
I sit up in my bedroll, or what's left of it anyway. It's pretty much hung up on some tree; how it got there, well, only Suzaku knows that. 'Chiri's sitting in the middle of camp staring at his mask in his hand. Wait a sec; he's not wearing the mask today? Kuso, that's great!  
  
Grinning at my love, I get up from bed and walk over to him, "Hey, Chiri, what're yeh doin' with yer mask, usually it's planted on yer face by now." I say to him.  
  
Chiri looks at me and I see a flask of sadness flicker over his beautiful unmasked face for a moment, then he fake pouts, "What no da? I thought you said I looked better without it na no da."  
  
I laugh at the ever present 'no da,' "O' course yeh look better without that paper smile, man, besides, those weirdo eyes on that thing gimme the chills."  
  
Chichiri smiles and I frown, "Chiri, I've known you for years and I can tell that you're not really smiling, something's wrong." Chiri looks at me with his bright mahogany orb and I can see that sadness, even though it's buried deep. I frown even more, "Chichiri, what is wrong? I'm yer best friend an' yeh can tell me anythin'!" Silence. I grab the monk by his shoulders and give him a good shake, "Do I have the get serious?!" I yell at his unresponsive body. Still silence. This makes me crack, that my best friend won't tell me what's wrong with him. I can tell my eyes are hard and cold right now, but I don't care. Squeezing my friend's shoulders even harder, hard enough so that he winces in pain, I yell, "HOUJUN FUCKIN' RI! SOMETHIN' IS SERIOUSLY FUCKIN' YOU UP RIGHT NOW! I AM YOUR FUCKIN' BEST GOD DAMN FRIEND! NOT EVEN FRICKIN' KOUJI CAN TAKE YER PLACE! I WANT YOU TO TELL ME EVERYTHING THAT IS WRONG RIGHT HERE AND NOW!" I start to break down now, my grip on his lithe form weakens and I can feel the angry and disappointed tears falling down my face, "Chi-Chichiri, yer my best friend an' yer really scarin' me right now. I need to know what's wrong now. I've always come to you with my problems and lent on you, but I can tell that yeh need someone to lean on yerself an' I want that pers'n the be me, Chiri." I'm sobbing now, and Chichiri has tears running down his face too.  
  
Staring at the ground, my houshi whispers quietly, "Why? Why do you care about me? You don't love me." With those last four words with the absence of his trademark 'no da' I can tell that he is serious. At the realization of what he said, his tenses his body as if to run away, but I hold him down and pull him into my chest.  
  
With the man I love crying into my shirt I start stroking his blue hair and bring my head down to his ear, taking a deep breath I begin, my confession has to be made now or else Chichiri might think I rejected him and god knows what he would do. The thought brings the previous night's dream to my head and I shudder at the thought of his bleeding form on the ground.  
  
My breath warms his ear as I begin to talk, "Chichiri, I can tell that yer upset about somethin' an' I'm not sure what it is, but I have a pretty damn good idea. Yeh say yeh want teh know why I care about yeh, so here's why: I care about yeh because yer my best friend in th' world. Yeh've stuck by me through thick an' thin an' even taken that damn mask off a couple times fer me. Yeh're always there when I'm sad or somthin's wrong and yeh should know that yeh can come the me just as I come the you." Here it comes, the big finish, "An' most important, Chiri..." His body tenses and I can feel his breath hitch, "...Most importan' is that I-I love yeh, Chichiri, I love yeh with all my heart."  
  
I pull Chiri away, expecting to see a loving face, a happy one, but instead I'm met with a cold tearstained face, "You don't love me. You're just saying that to make me feel better." I stare at him, more tears springing to life inside my amber orbs. Chichiri wrenches away from me, grabbing something silver from a log as he runs away.  
  
Springing to action, I leap up and feel my stomach twist as I realize that the thing Chichiri had grabbed was my silver knife, the one he had given to me for the first birthday I had had after traveling with him. I'm filled with a cold dread as I engage my seishi speed to chase after my hysterical friend. Left, right, straight, right, right, back. I see a flash blue over to the right and I run towards it, knowing in my heart that Chichiri is doing something that can not be good...at all.  
  
Upon reaching the blue, I find that it is Chichiri and something bad has happened. I see the knife on the ground, stained with blood. Chichiri's blood. Chichiri is standing there watching me as the hot red, live giving fluid flowed from his wrist. Staring in shock I waste no time in hoisting Chichiri up on my back after tying a thick piece of cloth round the wound. "Chiri, yeh ass." I mutter sadly, "Yeh promised that yeh'd always be here fer me an' now look at what yeh've done b'cause there was no one there for you." I sight, tears drying from the wind rushing by my face as fast as they fall, "If I 'member, we're close to the village where Mits' reincarnation lives, he'll take care o' yeh when I get there.  
  
I run as fast as I can, faster even as I feel Chichiri's life force begin to slip away, I'll get yeh there, Chiri, even if I die tryin'  
  
**Chichiri's POV**   
  
Tasuki, the second love of my life, has just confessed that he loves me. Suzaku I want to kiss him and laugh and smile, but I can't. He could never truly love me; no one could ever love someone who killed his best friend in cold blood over a simple misunderstanding. Seeing the truth, I choke back a sob and stare at my love with cold eyes, "You don't love me. You're just saying that to make me feel better." I somewhat regret my words upon seeing the look of shock at my transgression, but I am a monk, trained to be immune to emotion.  
  
I engage that skill and take off, intending to hide in the forest, but then I see the knife. I remember it, the silver one that I had crafted by the finest smith in Konan; I gave it to Tasuki for his birthday. He turned 21 that day, I remember it well.  
  
**_::Flashback::_**  
  
"Tasuki no da..." I whine as my secret love drags me into the dining hall of the Mt. Reikaku bandits, "You know that I don't like sake and drinking na no da."  
  
Tasuki turns for a brief moment and gives me his trademark fanged grin, "Aww, come on, Chiri, ya never drink, but it's my birthday, so pleaaaase have a few cups o' sake with me?" He whines right back.  
  
I sigh, it's far to easy for him to persuade me now, "Fine no da, but only one, ok no da?" I ask.  
  
Tasuki flashes a second grin my way, "O' course ya only hafta have one...bottle." He adds.  
  
"Iieeee na no da." I complain desperately, even going so far as to transform and cling to a light fixture, which soon breaks, sending me to the floor.  
  
Tasuki sighs, "At least I can get ya, now that yer all weird lookin'." He picks me up and holds me down while I try to squirm away.  
  
Tasuki drags me into the great hall, where all of the other bandits had already congregated. Upon their previous leader's entry, a round of cheers went up from the crowd and spread, filling the hall.  
  
Tasuki made his way to a large table and took a seat next to Kouji...and (not to my suprise) a supply of sake bottles. Grabbing two bowls, Tasuki promptly filled both, much to the surprise of Kouji, who elbowed his friend, "Hey, Genrou, I know yah love t' drink, but I don' think ya can manage two."  
  
Tasuki laughs, "Nah, this one's fer Chiri here."  
  
Kouji stares at me, as I stare at the ground, "Yeh got the monk the agree t' a bowl o' sake?" He asks in disbelief.  
  
"Yep." Was Tasuki's only replay as he began to drown himself in the alcoholic liquid.  
  
Everyone, even myself stayed up all night, drinking sake and just acting like idiots, it really was one of the most memorable experiences in my life. Sadly, Tasuki ended up getting me to drink a grand total of five bottles, since he knows that I'm completely gone after one bowl, and as payback I refused to help him cure his hangover.  
  
**_::End Flashback::_**  
  
A sharp, but somehow welcome pain jerks me from my memories and I am surprised to find that I have slit my wrist with the silver blade I grabbed from the dead tree stump. I can see and feel the red hot blood pouring from my body, along with another red object running at a great speed towrds my already weakening body. I look around, my vision already starting to blur, but I can make out Tasuki, who is still crying, run into my lonely clearing.  
  
He looks at me, says something about me being a baka, fastens a bandage tightly around my bleeding wrist, then picks me up and slings my heavy body onto his broad shoulders. The gait of his running is oddly soothing as the blood loss begins to take over and after a few minutes of the same warm, safe feeling, the loss of blood lulls my tired body into unconciousness.

A/N: Now, for the million dollar question: Will Chichiri survive?  
  
Dragid: "Che, I'm not telling. Just so you all know, I amperfectly capable of killing off sexy bishonen, 'cause after I do...THEY COME TO ME!"  
  
::Lawyers swarm in from all sides::  
  
Dragid: ::Sweatdrops:: "Eh heh, I-I-I knew that! Eh heh heh, I was just testing you, yeah, that's the ticket."  
  
::Lawyers sigh in disappointment and clear out::  
  
Dragid: "HA! I win, I beat those stupid lawyers!"  
  
::A stray lawyer presses stop on a tape recorder and runs away::  
  
Dragid: "Nooooo, I didn't mean it, I sweaaaaaar!"  
  
::Dragid runs after lawyer::


End file.
